I am become Overwatch/Event Post: HaVen: Saints & Sinners

The last couple months my life has existed in a circle. Schoolwork, Overwatch, sprinkled with the occasional babysitting gig. With the fucked up things in the world getting "lost" in that amazing game with friends I love is just the right medicine. It's given me something good to concentrate on. And it feels good to be good at something again. I've actually considered joining the Overwatch League if I get the chance to. I will have to try my best. I play with a group of friends most nights of the week between 9pm and midnight or so if anyone wants to join, contact me however you know how and we'll exchange Battle.net tags.

Earlier this month on the 5th (remember remember...?) I participated in my fourth Extra-Life event. I stayed up for nearly 24 hours playing and streaming video game to raise money for children's hospitals. My goal was to raise $100, I ended up with $108 exceeding my goal! By the end of that first day of fundraising in total across all fundraising efforts, it was around $7 million. I forget what the current number is at but they are accepting donations all the way through December 31st so if you have any extra money and are feeling generous send a donation here. If you want to watch some of the fun times that were had you can check the playlists on this Youtube channel. Warning, when the videos were uploaded from Twitch the orders were messed up and some parts were deleted. Apologies if some things don't make sense.

My birthday was the 19th. It wasn't a "special" one or anything. I turned 29. To celebrate I'm heading to HaVen: Saints & Sinners with my good pal Sawtooth. The outfit I'll be wearing is this nice lacy black dress with rose patterns all over it. I have a nice black rose choker to wear around my neck and my favorite skull earrings. Since it will be cold I'll be wearing these long fingerless gloves and this nice black poncho sort of thing. Just in case I'm still cold, a cloak. I've posted a picture on my Instagram.

Seeya next time I post!

Medical Maladies, Play Overwatch with me, and Musics.

Well I want to start this off my saying I won't be vending at that Steampunk Festival as I posted last month. Nothing bad happened just cetain things didn't work out.

Now for important things. I posted about it before, I was having a lot of medical issues I was trying to work out. Well, it's done. I found out about two weeks ago now that I have fibromyalgia. I'll let you look it up if you want but basically I feel a lot of pain and there is no real cure for it. I'll live. I'll deal. It does suck though. I was just talking about this with some people, what's funny about this to me is I finally have my mental health figured out. Nice timing, "fix" my brain just to deal with my broken body. Meh.

It definitely is a good thing I was working on my brain. I mean I feel depressed right now but it's not nearly as bad as it used to be. Normally when I am really depressed or having a hard time mentally it feels like I'm in a laberinth in the middle of space that's somehow also underwater. Like I'm lost and drowning and there's nothing. This time I feel more like I'm hanging out in an old abanoned swimming pool. It's not great but it's nowhere near as bad. I'm just waiting for someone to show up or something instead of feeling lost forever. As my husband says, "Now you know the way back."

One of the things I've been doing to "fix my brain" is to work on my flashbacks. I used to get these uncontrollable flashbacks that interrupted my day, froze me, changed my mood and made me miserable. It definitely made my day more difficult. I came up with a couple things I can do; one is I do the sign language symbol for the letter "f" with one of my hands. F for flashback if that wasn't obvious. I'm not sure if that does much but my other technique works great. I have a flashback and the second I regain any control I "go into" the flashback and fuck with it somehow. Usually it's really violent and cartoonish which really snaps me out of it. That thing isn't there it's just a thing in my head I can manipulate if I try hard enough. Not saying this is a cure and everyone should do it. But I've actually had less flashbacks since doing this.

Now onto less depressing things! I have been playing Overwatch as much as I can. I am planning on cosplaying as D.Va for Pax East and I have been working on a team to try and play competitive mode and maybe do tournaments with. We only really have three consistent team-mates right now, so let me know if you are down! I am good with D.va, Reaper, Mei, Ana, and Zarya. I'm ok with Mercy and Hanzo. Oh and situationally I'm good with Winston. The three of us on the team usually play Monday nights but I might have to make a different schedule depending on other potential team mates. Oh We play on P.C. to clarify.

One last thing! The hubs has another DJ gig next month! This ones a bigger one with several other DJ's. Tickets and more information here!

Thanks for reading!

June so soon?

June is going by pretty quickly it seems. It took longer than I meant it to but here's an update on how the event went we threw to raise money for my friend Joshua's Japan travels. We made $362 in roughly four hours. I call it a success. If you couldn't make it to the event but want to help out, there is plenty of time. Click on his name up above and throw some money at him.

Infamy productions is still up and running. We will be running a vending table at the Steampunk festival up in Nashua August 20th. I've been working on some accessories. I'll document my progress over on my Instagram, so check it out if you get curious.

We'll definitely be running more events. I'm even interested in being a part of some wedding planning, officiating if any of you are looking for some help. I think it'd be extra fun if it's a super "weird" wedding or something.

Oh, my husband and I have been working on a video series. We don't have a Youtube channel or anything yet, but I did finally figure out my Twitch channel if that interests you. I've been playing mostly Hearthstone and Overwatch for now. I mostly stream in the morning, or in the evening when I have other friends.

Don't forget to like my page for this blog and my twitter.

I hope I get to show you some amazing Steampunk clothes and accessories next time around!

Event Post: Ressurection Under Da Covers

So I took a bit of a break from the clubbing scene. Life happened and shit got stressful for a minute plus my lovery medical maladies being a literal pain. I will spare those details for now, though.

I have been making more art lately so I started a new Deviantart. If we used to be friends there, add me! Also, add me if you weren't I suppose.

This Thursday I will be at Ressurection: Under Da Covers helping my pal Josh sling some anime wares. I haven't yet decided what PJ's I'm wearing. Probably my default Batman onesie with Batman shirt and such underneath and my stuffed animal, Robin, the Bear-Wonder.

Normally I would post pictures of these things but I think I'm going to try something different today. I'm going to post pictures relating to this post on my Instagram. I will Hashtag it something like; #gothonashoestring #eventpost #Rez that seems maybe good.

Speaking of my Dear sir Josh, Don't forget to come hang out with us the last Sunday of this month.

See you elsewhere on the internet.

Use your powers for good.

So it turns out I have some updates this time! First of all, I will be at Pax East this weekend on Saturday April 22nd. I will be there assisting my cosplaying friend, (and once upon a time room-mate), Kamikaze Miko. I will also be temporarily "taking over" the Instagram account of Kosplay Underground, taking pictures, videos, so maybe I'll see some of you there!

I've somewhat rekindled my love of anime lately. Adult things got in the way of some things and I was starting to get a little too stressed so I began to check back in on some of my "old" loves. Next thing you know I'm doing things at Pax for people haha. It's kind of awesome to be honest. I know I will be stressed at tired by the end. Worth it.

I have also been working on another charity event. It's still somewhat in the early workings, but keep your calendar open for the the end of May if you are super into basically anything Japanese, especially cosplay and dancing. In the meantime, pleas check this page out for me: https://www.gofundme.com/tqckr7hg

See you later people.
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Life updates, medical doings, and what else?

          So this post is long, involved, and is about issues in my life I am almost cerain some of you don't give two shits about. It's not about fashion, or goth things, but as I've said before, it's my blog so fuck it.

           The last year or so has been rough. Deaths, divorces, the loss of family, fights, stress, pain. It was like bing in a dark tunnel with a light at the end, but the light keeps moving farther away. During this time, my body began to feel "weird." I got clumsier, my hands weren't co-operating, my neck, back, and shoulders were always still. I started forgetting things more. Words would just disapear from my head. Weird muscle spasms, temperature changes, sweating. As I write this my hand feels like it's burning. Don't even get me stared on the random pains and joints popping. I'm 28 years old and I feel like I'm in the body of a 70 year old.
           I though I had done it to myself somehow. I started experimenting on myselg. I changed my diet. I stopped smoking weed to see if that had anythign to do with it, the only thing that did was made me realize how bad my pain is. I stopped drinking booze for a while and to this day I don't drink nearly as much as I used to. I ragged and flipped out on friends and loved ones almost against my will. I felt like I was possessed. I thought it was just a lot of stress. I felt like I was losing my mind.
            I went to my doctor. She said we should rule out arthritis before moving onto things like MS or Lupus. She also referred me to a neurologist. When I went to him, he discovered that the skin on the left side of my body is numb by poking me with needles. I got an EEG and an MRI. Because of those I have discovered that I don't like certain lights and sounds. My brain goes crazy. I'm seeing the Neurologist again this upcoming Tuesday.

*beep boop*

   Because of these things I decided to take a break from college while I get my shit together. Sadly I haven't been able to work and my poor husband has been picking up the slack. He trully is the best though. I am so glad I have him with me. Also since I don't have a diagnosis yet I can't get the help I need yet. It's like a weird purgatory.

 
  Things seem to be on track again for the most part and I'm planning on resuming my college-doings as soon as I can. I have also been updating my resume and found a couple jobs I might be able to do. Either way I will continue to blog and be me. Keep being you beautiful people.

Look it my brain!

Clubbing Dreams and an Important announcement!

So I'm going to start this entry with a long and involved back story about me and my life in the goth club scene. Maybe I should start even farther back... I was always a "weird" kid. I played with dead things and animals no one else wanted to touch. I used to save things I thought I could use to make my own science experiments that I'd hide. One of my parents would always find them and throw them away. Once or twice I was told on by a sibling. I once got in trouble in first grade for coloring a clown on our spelling classwork so it looked like he was holding an ax instead of balloons, and covered him in blood. It's safe to say I was (and am) a weirdo.

Years and years later, I discover goth somehow. I start to wear all or mostly black. Fishnet, long coats, dyed hair. I try smoking cloves and hanging out with kids who tattoo and pierce themselves and making weird art with my blood, CD's, whatever I could find.

Then after that one of my best friends, a guy who introduced me to my husband, takes me out clubbing. I finally find people who don't think I'm weird partly because some of them are a hell of a lot weirder. I craved the clubs. I get lost when I dance. I feel like I'm on another plane almost. Ever since I've been wanting to start my own place for the weirdos, the strange artists, the loners, the people who make me happy to be me.

In 2013, I tried. I started Infamy with the help of a friend. Our very first night we had Bella Morte perform. I was so happy and excited. Yes, I did it I made a place! But then it fell apart. I was never so stressed or depressed up to that point.

Cut to, I have another opportunity. I have been asked to run a night at The Tin Roof Tavern in Manchester, NH. I am so excited at the possibilities. Can't get too excited, though, this is still a trial run in a way. There's a chance it won't last forever, but at the very least I'm going to get some experience and show people what I can do. This time around, I have more support, people who want to help, people who want this place to exist. I have also made a lot more connections.

So here it is: I have renamed my old club page Infamy Productions. All my little creative efforts are all under that umbrella. My night, this blog, my art, comics, so on and so forth. I feel like that works for most of my, well, works.

So if you want to come here's our "first" night. My dear husband, DJbadaxe and his sib Sawtooth are of course DJing. I should mention this event falls on Badaxe's birthday. He deserves extra points and love for that!

As always if you want to see some of my adventures and random doings, here's my Instagram. Yerps.

See some of you soon. :)