The last year or so has been rough. Deaths, divorces, the loss of family, fights, stress, pain. It was like bing in a dark tunnel with a light at the end, but the light keeps moving farther away. During this time, my body began to feel "weird." I got clumsier, my hands weren't co-operating, my neck, back, and shoulders were always still. I started forgetting things more. Words would just disapear from my head. Weird muscle spasms, temperature changes, sweating. As I write this my hand feels like it's burning. Don't even get me stared on the random pains and joints popping. I'm 28 years old and I feel like I'm in the body of a 70 year old.
I though I had done it to myself somehow. I started experimenting on myselg. I changed my diet. I stopped smoking weed to see if that had anythign to do with it, the only thing that did was made me realize how bad my pain is. I stopped drinking booze for a while and to this day I don't drink nearly as much as I used to. I ragged and flipped out on friends and loved ones almost against my will. I felt like I was possessed. I thought it was just a lot of stress. I felt like I was losing my mind.
I went to my doctor. She said we should rule out arthritis before moving onto things like MS or Lupus. She also referred me to a neurologist. When I went to him, he discovered that the skin on the left side of my body is numb by poking me with needles. I got an EEG and an MRI. Because of those I have discovered that I don't like certain lights and sounds. My brain goes crazy. I'm seeing the Neurologist again this upcoming Tuesday.
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| *beep boop* |
Because of these things I decided to take a break from college while I get my shit together. Sadly I haven't been able to work and my poor husband has been picking up the slack. He trully is the best though. I am so glad I have him with me. Also since I don't have a diagnosis yet I can't get the help I need yet. It's like a weird purgatory.
Things seem to be on track again for the most part and I'm planning on resuming my college-doings as soon as I can. I have also been updating my resume and found a couple jobs I might be able to do. Either way I will continue to blog and be me. Keep being you beautiful people.
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| Look it my brain! |
