Well I want to start this off my saying I won't be vending at that Steampunk Festival as I posted last month. Nothing bad happened just cetain things didn't work out.
Now for important things. I posted about it before, I was having a lot of medical issues I was trying to work out. Well, it's done. I found out about two weeks ago now that I have fibromyalgia. I'll let you look it up if you want but basically I feel a lot of pain and there is no real cure for it. I'll live. I'll deal. It does suck though. I was just talking about this with some people, what's funny about this to me is I finally have my mental health figured out. Nice timing, "fix" my brain just to deal with my broken body. Meh.
It definitely is a good thing I was working on my brain. I mean I feel depressed right now but it's not nearly as bad as it used to be. Normally when I am really depressed or having a hard time mentally it feels like I'm in a laberinth in the middle of space that's somehow also underwater. Like I'm lost and drowning and there's nothing. This time I feel more like I'm hanging out in an old abanoned swimming pool. It's not great but it's nowhere near as bad. I'm just waiting for someone to show up or something instead of feeling lost forever. As my husband says, "Now you know the way back."
One of the things I've been doing to "fix my brain" is to work on my flashbacks. I used to get these uncontrollable flashbacks that interrupted my day, froze me, changed my mood and made me miserable. It definitely made my day more difficult. I came up with a couple things I can do; one is I do the sign language symbol for the letter "f" with one of my hands. F for flashback if that wasn't obvious. I'm not sure if that does much but my other technique works great. I have a flashback and the second I regain any control I "go into" the flashback and fuck with it somehow. Usually it's really violent and cartoonish which really snaps me out of it. That thing isn't there it's just a thing in my head I can manipulate if I try hard enough. Not saying this is a cure and everyone should do it. But I've actually had less flashbacks since doing this.
Now onto less depressing things! I have been playing Overwatch as much as I can. I am planning on cosplaying as D.Va for Pax East and I have been working on a team to try and play competitive mode and maybe do tournaments with. We only really have three consistent team-mates right now, so let me know if you are down! I am good with D.va, Reaper, Mei, Ana, and Zarya. I'm ok with Mercy and Hanzo. Oh and situationally I'm good with Winston. The three of us on the team usually play Monday nights but I might have to make a different schedule depending on other potential team mates. Oh We play on P.C. to clarify.
One last thing! The hubs has another DJ gig next month! This ones a bigger one with several other DJ's. Tickets and more information here!
Thanks for reading!
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